


I'm Here, I'm Yours

by soft_satan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21970354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_satan/pseuds/soft_satan
Summary: The lights of the tree blurred and warped. It was at that moment, standing alone in Eddie’s house, staring at his Christmas tree, that it finally hit him.He was alone on Christmas.Again.~~~Eddie and Christopher find out that Buck is spending Christmas alone and they decide to do something about it.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 29
Kudos: 377





	I'm Here, I'm Yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theobligatedklutz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theobligatedklutz/gifts).



> "So please just fall in love with me this Christmas  
> There's nothing else that I would need this Christmas  
> Won't be wrapped under the tree  
> Want something that lasts forever  
> So kiss me on this cold December night"
> 
> \-- "Cold December Night" by Michael Bublé (where the titile is from)
> 
> Dedicated to my best friend 💛

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. We should have just taken an Uber…”

“Eddie.” Brown eyes met blue across the front seat of the Jeep, Buck’s lips quirked in a grin that made his eyes crinkle in the corners. “Stop talking. This was my idea, remember?”

Eddie sighed, glancing back out the windshield at the cluster of cars in line ahead of them. Some were pulled over to the side, with people extracting or depositing bags into their trunks. Some were pausing just long enough for someone to jump in or out before quickly getting out of the way. And then some, like theirs, was simply stopped, waiting to get close enough to the entrance to the airport to be able to pick up or drop off.

“I didn’t realize it would be this busy already,” Eddie marveled.

“Dude, it’s the day before Christmas Eve,” Buck laughed.

“Yes, but it’s 4:30 AM.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I let you do this.”

“Because I wanted to.”

“You have to work today!”

“Eddie, seriously, stop stressing about it. I don’t have to be at the station until 6, and even then I only have a twelve hour shift to cover for somebody. It’s no big deal.”

Eddie was grateful for Buck's kindness, but still pissed at himself. “You’re going to be exhausted.’

“I’ll grab a cup of coffee on the way and be good to go,” Buck shrugged. “Besides, I’m off until the 26th and I have nothing to do but chill. I'll catch up on sleep tomorrow.”

Eddie’s head snapped around from the window, staring at Buck in confusion. “What happened to your plans with Maddie?”

Buck waved a hand dismissively, pulling the jeep forward a few inches as the car in front of them moved up in line. “Chimney surprised her with a trip to Hawaii. They both deserve a nice weekend away. What kind of brother and friend would I be if I made her stay with my sorry butt?” Buck glanced fondly back at the snoozing little boy in the back seat.

“What about Bobby and Athena? Or Hen and Karen?” Eddie suggested. “I’m sure they’d love to have you over.”

Buck shook his head, keeping his eyes on the car in front of him even though it wasn’t moving. “I don’t want to intrude just because my plans fell through.”

“So you’re going to be completely alone on Christmas?” Eddie asked incredulously.

“I tried to pick up a Christmas shift, but no one wanted to give up the overtime.” Buck shrugged again, shooting Eddie a reassuring smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Eddie. It’s not my first Christmas alone.”

That didn’t make Eddie feel any better.

“Now forget about me,” Buck continued as it was finally his turn to pull up to the curb. “Go see your family. Have fun, take pictures, bring back funny stories to tell me.”

Eddie pursed his lips, considering him critically. Buck did seem pretty okay with having a holiday to himself, and there were a lot of people counting on them. He reached back into the back seat and tapped Christopher’s leg. “Hey, buddy, wake up. It’s time to get on the plane.”

Christopher sighed and stretched, unbuckling his seatbelt. “I wish you were coming too, Buck.”

The look on Buck’s face at that broke Eddie’s heart. “Me too, Chris, but I have to work today.”

Christopher huffed. “Stupid work.”

“But hey! You still have your present from me to look forward to,” Buck assured. “We can have our own little Christmas morning when you two get back next week.”

Christopher smiled, raising his arms. “Bonus Christmas!”

Eddie and Buck laughed, releasing any tension either of them felt.

“Thank you for the ride,” Eddie sighed, reaching across to pull Buck into a hug.

“Anytime.”

Buck’s smile always seemed a little brighter after Eddie hugged him, and it always seemed to release butterflies into Eddie’s stomach. Christopher leaned forward between the seats, wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck, and finally Buck’s smile was reaching his eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Buck. I love you.”

Buck hugged him tight, and Eddie didn’t miss the way Buck’s eyes became misty. “I love you too, Superman. Merry Christmas.”

Eddie heaved a sigh as he got out, moving to the back door to retrieve his son and their bag. They were on their way to the door when Buck lowered the passenger window, calling out to them.

“Hey, text me when you land!”

“I will!” Eddie chuckled, afraid to admit how warm Buck’s concern made him feel. He threw a soft smile and a wave over his shoulder. “Merry Christmas, Buck.”

Buck waved. “Merry Christmas, Eddie.”

Eddie could hear Buck’s Jeep still idling behind them as he guided his son into the airport, could feel Buck's eyes on his back, but he didn’t look behind him. He was afraid of what truth Buck’s features would hold if he did. They couldn’t miss their flight. His parents were expecting them for Christmas. They would be disappointed, upset with him, and miss Christopher. He couldn't do that to them. They were counting on them. Besides, Christopher was looking forward to seeing all of their family back in El Paso.

But Buck was going to be all alone.

They were almost to security when Eddie stopped his son with a hand on his shoulder. “Christopher, I need to ask you something.” He knelt down in front of him, meeting his eyes. “I want you to be completely honest with me, okay? Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, or what you think would make someone else happy. I want to know what would make you happy, okay?”

Christopher nodded solemnly.

“Do you want to go back to Texas for Christmas? Or do you want to stay here and spend Christmas with Buck?”

The way Christopher’s face lit up as soon as he heard the second option was all the answer Eddie needed. “I wanna stay with Buck.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Eddie laughed as he stood, messing Christopher’s hair lovingly. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go surprise Buck.”

…

Buck tried. He really tried. He even begged a little, which he was not proud of, for someone to switch with him. But the on duty Captain shooed him away from the firehouse the moment Buck's shift was over, practically shoving him out the door. And so Buck found himself sitting in his Jeep in the parking lot, slumped in his seat, glaring at the bay doors that were keeping him out of the one place where he wouldn't feel lonely. He pulled out his phone, his pout deepening into a petulant frown. He had no new messages, no missed calls, not even an Instagram notification. Just to wallow a little bit, he opened his texts to Eddie. The last message Eddie had sent him was when he let Buck know they'd made it to Texas safely. Buck had sent him back a thumbs up and a Santa emoji, and that was it. No new messages. He was leaving Maddie and Chim alone to enjoy their time together, he hadn't wanted to bother Bobby or Athena, and though he knew Hen would have responded, he also knew that she would worry about him if she figured out he was alone. So he sighed and sat the phone in the cup holder. As he was just pulling out of the firehouse, his phone came to life with jingle bells and Mariah Carey’s voice, and he knew before he looked at it who was calling. It was funny how Eddie always seemed to know when he needed him, even if he didn’t really know that he knew. A smile on his face, he answered it and set it to speaker, placing it back into the cup holder.

“Hey, Eddie. What’s up? Having fun yet?”

“Tons. Christopher is enjoying being spoiled rotten by all he relatives, of course,” Eddie laughed. “But I’m calling because… I uh… I need a favor. I’m so sorry, I just don’t know anyone else who—”

“Eddie, come on. You know I’ve got your back.”

There was a pause, and when Eddie spoke again, Buck could hear a certain kind of tenderness that made his heart melt. “I know you do. Thank you.”

“So what can I do for you, Diaz?”

“So, this is embarrassing, but… I think I left the tree plugged in at my house,” Eddie said with a huff of shy laughter. “I really don’t want to face the ridicule that would come with being a firefighter who burned down his own house. So, do you think you could swing by on your way home and unplug it for me? Please?”

Eddie’s question was met with Buck’s signature giggles. Buck could hear the exasperation when Eddie sighed, and he could clearly imagine the way Eddie was rolling his eyes at that very moment. He wiped the tears from his eyes as he regained control over himself. “Yes, of course I will.”

“You’re my hero, Buck,” Eddie quipped, laughing in spite of himself.

“I can be your hero, baby!” Buck sang out, loudly and very off-key.

“Oookay…”

“I can kiss away the pain!”

“Alright, you’re doing this.”

“I will stand by you forever!”

“I’m hanging up now.”

Buck finished by dropping his voice down to a whiney whisper, smile plastered to his face, his words tinged with humor. “You. Can. Take. My breath away…”

“Bye, Buck!”

“Bye, Eddie,” Buck giggled, and then the phone bleeped with Eddie ending the call.

The smile that Eddie put on Buck’s face seemed to want to stay there as he drove through the darkened streets. At least, until he pulled to a stop on the street outside of his best friend’s home. Sure enough, the only light on in the house was the Christmas tree, which was glowing with a warm hue behind closed blinds in the living room window. Buck shook his head with a small, fading smile. He would go in and do as he was asked, but if he were honest, he really didn’t want to. Just the thought of entering that house and not being greeted by the Diaz boys was enough to make him want to tempt fate and just tell Eddie he misplaced his key. Or perhaps he could go around the back of the house and cut the power. Really, there were a lot of options that didn’t involve being alone in the unusually silent Diaz residence, but all of them would probably result in damage to the house. So Buck took a deep breath and got out of his Jeep, easily finding the Superman key on his keyring as he hopped up the front steps.

The moment he opened the door, he was greeted by the eerie rosy glow of the Christmas tree just barely cutting through the shadows. He shut the door behind him, cringing at how loudly it creaked and clicked in the silence. It felt more wrong to be there alone than he had anticipated. It was like having a blanket over his head – dark, quiet, and suffocating. The lights of the tree blurred and warped. It was at that moment, standing alone in Eddie’s house, staring at his Christmas tree, that it finally hit him.

He was alone on Christmas.

Again.

The loneliness was suddenly overwhelming, crushing him far more painfully than any firetruck ever could. Standing there with no one around and no reason to keep pretending, he could feel the pressure of his emotions cracking his façade. His lip trembled as a tear rolled down his cheek, and he did his best to swallow down the sob that was clawing up his throat.

The main lights of the living room suddenly flicking on was enough to make Buck’s heart leap with a start, but it was the two familiar voices shouting the word “surprise” that truly made Buck think he was having a heart attack. He spun around with a scream, fists raised, not really sure what he was planning to do to an intruder since he was having a difficult time getting his eyes to adjust to the sudden flood of light. His vision finally cleared after a second, but he kept blinking to try and rid himself of the obvious hallucination standing right in front of him. There was no way that Eddie was standing in the doorway, wearing a blinding smile and ridiculous red and green pajamas. It wasn’t possible that Christopher, dressed in the same colorful pajamas as his father, was moving as fast as he was able toward Buck. Clearly he was dreaming that the little boy was hugging his waist tightly, face pressed into Buck’s abdomen.

“Y-you’re here…” Buck choked, hugging Christopher back tightly, meeting Eddie’s soft gaze. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Texas…”

“We didn’t want you to be alone,” Christopher supplied, looking up at Buck with a blinding smile.

“We decided last minute that both of us would rather be here. With you. So we—Oh my god, Buck...” Eddie stepped closer, his smile falling into a look of concern. “Were you crying?”

Buck swiped the back of his hand across his eyes to try and hide the evidence, but then he realized. The two people he loved most had given up their Christmas plans to stay with him and fight away his loneliness. They deserved the truth. “Yeah, I was,” Buck laughed, sniffling. He looked down at Chris warmly. “I thought I was going to be all alone, but here you are.”

When he met Eddie’s eyes again, the look on his face took Buck’s breath away. His eyes were glassy and intense, a soft smile tilting his lips up on the corners. Buck couldn’t take the intensity, or the way Eddie made his heart feel like it was going to burst with emotion, so he turned his attention to Chris and knelt to gather him into a more solid hug.

“This is all I asked Santa for,” Buck whispered to Chris, glancing back up at Eddie to find that the intensity had been turned down considerably, replaced with a softness that was somehow worse. “How did you know I wouldn’t pick up an extra shift?”

“I texted the Captain and asked him to make sure you didn’t get any extra shifts.” Eddie looked like a mischievous little elf in those PJ’s. “We also went by your place and picked up some stuff for you. Clothes, phone charger, presents. You know, the important stuff.”

Buck shook his head in awe, tickling Christopher’s sides and making the little boy burst into giggles. “You two are so sneaky!”

“We got you pajamas, too.” Eddie threw a thumb over his shoulder at the bathroom with a wink. “They’re in the bathroom.”

The excitement in Eddie’s voice was like music to Buck. He pressed a kiss to Christopher’s forehead and stood, tousling the little boy’s hair lovingly. “Alright, I’m gonna go put on my pajamas. And then… I don’t know. What are we doing?”

“Everything!” Christopher cheered.

…

Sprawled across the coffee table before them was every decoration imaginable, and in the center sat a plate piled high with freshly baked sugar cookies. There were sprinkles of varying colors and shapes, small bowls of colored icings, a few extra empty bowls, and one large glass bowl full of white icing. Christopher seemed to have more icing on his face than the cookies on the plate in front of him. Buck, now wearing PJs that matched Eddie’s and Christopher’s, was working on making a Santa with a vibrant green beard. Eddie looked around the table with his lips pursed.

“We need more colors for the icing,” Eddie announced, getting up from the floor and heading for the kitchen. “I know I have some other food colorings in here somewhere.”

Buck watched him go, his heart speeding up. He hadn’t gotten a moment alone with Eddie in the couple hours since they had surprised him, and now was his chance. “I’m gonna go help him.”

Chris just shrugged and continued smearing icing over his reindeer cookie. Buck found Eddie digging through the cabinet by the stove, pulling bottles of seasoning out of his way and setting them on the counter. Buck watched him for a moment, finding the way he stuck his tongue out just a bit as he reached back into the cabinet insanely adorable.

“Did you come in here to help me look or just stare at me?” Eddie asked, throwing Buck a mischievous look over his shoulder. “I mean, I know I’m cute as hell, especially in these pajamas, but that can’t be your only reason.”

Buck laughed and moved to lean against the counter near Eddie, hating that he could feel the heat rise to his face. “I just… I wanted to say thank you. You know, for coming back. I know how much you wanted to spend Christmas with your family—”

“You are family.”

When Buck looked up, he found Eddie’s eyes shining intensely again, and he couldn’t deny that his heart sped up a little at the sight. Everything he was about to say got caught in his throat, so he simply stared in awe. It was all he could do.

“We didn’t do this out of pity, Buck,” Eddie continued softly. “We stayed because we wanted to. Because neither of us wanted to even imagine you all alone on Christmas, but we also didn’t want to spend Christmas without you.” Eddie tilted his head, an honesty in his tone that shook Buck to his core. “We love you, Buck. I hope you know that.”

Buck nodded slowly, his vision blurring. “I know,” he choked on the words, cleared his throat. “I love you, too.” He glanced out at Christopher, and when he found Eddie’s eyes again, they were suddenly glistening with unshed tears. Buck smiled, trying to bury what he was really feeling. “Both of you.”

Eddie smiled, blinking his eyes clear. He pointed to the cabinet behind Buck, sensing Buck’s desire to lighten the mood, just like he always did. “Check in there, will ya?”

Buck opened the cabinet and immediately saw the box of neon food coloring sitting front and center. Snatching it off the shelf, he held it up triumphantly. “Got it!”

“Yes!” Eddie clapped Buck on the shoulder and grabbed the box from his hand as he passed, heading back to the living room. “I want to make a Santa that looks like he’s going to a rave!”

Buck busted out laughing as he followed.

…

After cookies were made and popcorn was popped, it was time for a Christmas movie. The three snuggled up on the couch, Christopher happily squished between his two favorite people. Considering they started the movie over an hour passed Christopher’s bedtime, it wasn’t a surprise to either man that the boy was snoring before Rudolph had made it off the Island of Misfit Toys. Eddie paused the movie long enough to tuck his son into bed, starting it back up again once he had retaken his spot on the couch.

“I loved this movie as a kid,” Buck announced happily, laughing at something the dentist elf said.

“Me too. Every time I watch it, I feel like a kid again.” Eddie shot a curious glance Buck’s way. “What was Christmas like for you as a kid?”

“Pretty good, actually,” Buck shrugged. “I mean, it wasn’t anything like the kind of Christmas you give to Christopher. But I got cool stuff, and the decorations were nice.” Buck’s face was unreadable as he spoke, but Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away from his profile. “But you… You spoil that kid, and I’m not even talking about presents. You give that kid more love and affection within any given hour than I think either of my parents showed me in the seventeen years I lived with them.”

Buck’s eyes were still glued to the TV, but Eddie forgot about the movie the second Buck started to open up. It wasn’t often that Buck divulged information about his past, so when he did, Eddie made sure to pay full attention. Eddie didn’t say anything, afraid to disrupt the moment and cause Buck to close himself off again.

“When I was a teenager, my parents started taking trips for Christmas.” Buck grabbed his beer from the coffee table, draining it of what little contents it still held before he continued. “Without me,” he laughed bitterly.

A ball of fury and sadness hit Eddie like a punch to the gut. “How old were you when that started?”

“Thirteen.” Buck smiled sadly, deepening his voice into a mocking tone. ”You’re old enough to take care of yourself, Evan. We’ll see you in January.”

Eddie clenched his fists, trying to hold down the emotions that were beginning to build up inside his chest. He had never wanted so badly to scream at two people he had never met. “What about Maddie?”

“She was in college by then. I didn’t want her to worry about me, so every year I told her I’d be spending Christmas with my best friend’s family in the mountains or something.” Buck finally looked at Eddie, a laugh in his voice but something darker in his eyes. “She didn’t know that I didn’t have a best friend. Or that I barely had any friends at all.”

Eddie unapologetically reached over and grabbed Buck’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Buck looked startled at their entwined hands, then curiously at Eddie, but neither let go. Buck’s lips turned up slightly as he squeezed Eddie’s hand.

“You’re my first best friend.”

The confession was so soft, Eddie would have missed it if he hadn’t been staring right at Buck when he said it. Something warm blossomed in Eddie’s chest, and he blinked away the tears that started to build behind his eyes.

“And I am honored to hold that title,” Eddie whispered, afraid to risk shattering the moment by speaking any louder. “You’re my best friend, too.”

The silence that settled over them wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely heavy. Even with Buck’s smile back in place, Eddie could see the other emotions behind his blue eyes. They went back to watching the movie, but neither of them were really paying attention anymore as their hands remained entwined. They stayed like that throughout the rest of the movie, Eddie’s thumb slowly tracing circles around Buck’s knuckles.

Once Rudolph guided the sleigh and the DVD returned to the menu screen, Eddie heaved a contented sigh. “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.”

Buck nodded as a yawn cut off his words. “Hell yeah. Some asshole got me up three hours before my alarm to take him to the airport for literally no freaking reason.”

Eddie leveled him with a glare, but couldn’t help the way his lips twitched. “Just for that, I’m not letting you eat Santa’s cookies tomorrow night.”

Giving a dramatic gasp, Buck laid his free hand over his heart. Giggles erupted from the both of them until they were leaning against each other, gasping for breath. Maybe it was because they were so deliriously tired that the moment seemed funnier than it was.

Or maybe it was because they were together.

Eddie turned off the TV and squeezed Buck’s hand one more time before reluctantly letting go. He stood and stretched, letting out a yawn and chuckling when Buck yawned again too. Buck threw himself down on the newly vacant spot and stretched out, taking up every inch of the extra long sofa with his long legs. Eddie watched him for a moment, the gears in his mind turning as he took in how Buck’s feet were propped up on the armrest just to make himself fit.

“Why don’t you sleep with me?”

The way Buck’s eyes bulged told Eddie he had chosen the wrong words before he even realized it himself. He was tired and not thinking clearly at all. He stuttered and choked awkwardly, trying to backtrack. “I mean—uh…”

Buck busted into giggles that made Eddie’s heart soar. “I know what you mean. And thank you, but I’ll be fine.”

Eddie swallowed thickly, hoping his voice came out evenly and didn’t betray the nervousness his slip up had caused. “Come on, Buck. You barely fit on this couch. It’s a big bed, there’s plenty of room. I promise I don’t kick or snore.”

“You do snore,” Buck smirked, pointing an accusatory finger. “Why do you think I sleep on the couch upstairs whenever you nap in the bunk room?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Are you going to insult me until I take back the offer? Or are you going to come with me and actually get some rest?”

“Well, I don’t know how much rest I’ll really get, what with the chainsaw I’ll be next to…”

Eddie turned on his heel, marching toward the bedroom. “Offer rescinded.”

Buck practically jumped up from the couch, hurrying to follow. “Okay! Okay, I’ll stop!”

Eddie threw a lighthearted glare over his shoulder. “Fine. But you’re on thin ice, Buckley. Any sleep kicking will result in an immediate relocation.”

“What if I don’t want to get up and relocate?”

“I’ll push you onto the floor.”

“You’re mean when you’re tired.”

Eddie hummed in amusement as he led Buck into his bedroom. “Which side do you prefer?”

“Right,” Buck said hesitantly. “But if you prefer it, I—”

“No, I…” Eddie wasn’t sure what he was feeling at the realization. “I prefer the left.”

“Huh…” Eddie didn’t need to see Buck to know he was grinning.. “We’re perfect for each other.”

Heat instantly rose to Eddie’s cheeks, and he was grateful for the darkness of the room. “Yeah…” he breathed awkwardly, climbing into bed.

They settled on opposite edges of the bed, Eddie on his back and Buck facing the wall. It wasn’t weird, but Eddie couldn’t stop his heart from pounding in his chest. Buck was only inches away. Eddie could reach out and pull Buck into his arms if he wanted to. And oh, he wanted to. But he kept his hands to himself, tucked under his head as he stared at the shadows on the ceiling. The silence fell over them like a warm blanket, cozy but heavy, until Buck’s soft rasp broke through.

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for staying.”

Buck had already thanked him once, but this was different. This was deeper. Eddie could plainly hear the way emotion squeezed Buck’s throat, as well as the layers upon layers of meaning in the simple statement. He allowed himself to reach out and touch Buck’s shoulder lightly, because it wasn’t for himself, it was to comfort his best friend.

“Always.”

When he felt a hand cover his, Eddie knew that Buck understood him too.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Buck sings is "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias


End file.
